Turd Chime's the Harm

You Do the Voodoo, Otto’s Shrunken Head (528 E 14th St), 6:00PM
Host: Neil Charles and Scott Rogowsky
Ted Greenberg
Vinny Fallon
Scott Rogowsky
Abby from Chappaqua
Mike Dobbins
Brian McMann
Neil Padover
Adam Strasser
Rhodes Pierre

How to Kick People, Mo Pitkin's (34 Ave A)
Hosts: Bob Powers and Todd Levin
John Mulaney
Matt Goldich
Evany Thomas

That's a Wrap!

Giant Tuesday Night of Amazing Invention...And Also There is a Game, Rififi (332 E 11th St), 8:00PM
Host: Andres Du Bouchet
Mike Birch
Ann Carr
Mark Douglas
Kevin Marr
Rob Gordon
Bryan Olsen
Michael Reisman
Daniel Wright

Alternative Means Different...

Can You Imagine?, Rififi (332 E 11th), 8:00PM
Hosts: Matt Goldich and Chris Jurek
Chris Jurek
Andrew Wright
Brad Steurnagel
Jacqueline Novak
Matt Goldich

Mr. Friday Night

The Greg Johnson Show, Rififi (332 E 11th St)
Host: Greg Johnson
Alex Blagg
Chelsea Peretti
Eugene Mirman
Brian Kiley

Pandora's Candy Box

Grandma’s Candy Box, Bar None (98 3rd Ave), 10:00PM
Hosts: Blaine Perry and Pat Stango
Mike Burns
Darryl Purvis
Shayna Ferm
Pat O'Shea
Myka Fox
Jack Kukoda
Sean O'Connor

REJECTION REDEMPTION!

I woke up this morning to the great, great news that Jon Friedman over at The Rejection Show has posted my "piece," if you will (and you will), entitled Planning My Son's Bar Mitzvah. Readers of Denmark's the Spot will recognize it as my e-mail correspondence with David Tapley, President and COO of Tapley Entertainment. He pimps out celebrity look-a-likes. Pretty bizarre stuff, so I wrote these e-mails and submitted them as a piece of literary humor to the Internet Tendency of Timothy McSweeney. The response was quick and cordial, but unfortunately, laced with rejection. The exact words:

Scott:

I'm going to pass on this one, but I do thank you for taking the time to
submit.

Best,

John Warner
Website Editor

I thought that would be the end of it. I'd have to be content with the four comments my blog received regarding the e-mails with Mr. Tapley, the most cherished of which reads, "I have to admit, you seem to have a very well put together blog here! Regards, Wedding Camera." But then, like that guinea pig I saw on Emergency Vets, my whacky piece got a second chance courtesy of The Rejection Show website! That's cool enough, but what's even cooler is that my piece was the first ever to be posted on the site, giving it instant trivia status! THANK YOU JON! And if you're in New York, check out Jon's show at Mo Pitkin's, just about every Tuesday at 7:30PM though this summer only.

I've Been Crossed!

You Do the Voodoo Open Mic, Otto’s Shrunken Head (
Hosts: Neil Charles and Scott Rogowsky
Ruhbin Mehta
Mike Lee
Abby
Leil David
Gab Cody
Eric Reynolds

Voodoo Luau
Host: Emily Epstein
Roger Hailes
Chuck Naked

Invite Them Up, Rififi (332 E 11th St), 8:00PM
Hosts: Eugene Mirman and Bobby Tisdale
Reggie Watts with Bobby Tisdale
Jason Good
Aziz Ansari
Reggie Watts
Daniel Kitson

You’re, you’re David Cross! David. Cross. You’re, you’re the voice of a generation! Uh, erm, eh, Mr. Show, Ronnie Dobbs, uh, MR. SHOW! I have all the seasons on DVD, and your comedy albums, uh, erm, I mean, Let America Laugh, two comedy albums, uh, Scary Movie 3! Arrested Development! Uh, Dr. Tobias Funke, er, David Cross. You! You’re David Cross!

I was standing next to David Cross tonight. I didn't introduce myself.

Alan Alda Would Be Proud

Oh, Hello, UCBT (307 W 26h St), 7:00PM
Hosts: Nick Kroll and John Mulaney
Guest: Brian Donovan

Nervous For No Reason

You Do the Voodoo, Otto’s Shrunken Head (538 E 14th St), 6:00PM
Host: Scott Rogowsky
Mike Dobbins

Audience: Rayna, her friend Emily, Alea

Father's Night, and How I Didn't Pay

Giant Tuesday Night of Amazing Invention… And Also There is a Game, Rififi (332 E 11th St), 8:00PM
Guest Host: Mike Birtch
GTN Crew: Rob Gordon, Mark Douglas, Michael Reisman, Ann Carr, Steve Boyer
Jesse Joyce
Rusty Ward

Bogus Journey Into Night, Rififi (332 E 11th St), 10:00PM
Host: Michael Showalter
Andrea Rosen
Chelsea Peretti
Demetri Martin

Now That Was Funny

Can You Imagine?, Rififi (332 E 11th St), 8:00PM
Hosts: Matt Goldich and Chris Jurek
Matt Goldich
Joe Mande
Todd Levin
Leo Allen
Chris Jurek
Stucky & Murray

I'm Movin' Out

Here’s the Thing, Rififi (332 E 11th St), 8:00PM
Hosts: Sean O’Connor and Andrew Wright
John Mulaney
Brad Steurnagel as CHRIS
Amanda Baramki
Brooke Van Poppelen
Mike Dobbins

I moved in today. NEW YORK CITY! THE BIG EASY! THE THE CRADLE OF CIVILIZATION! No sooner had I arranged my t-shirts neatly in the dresser was I headed out the door to Rififi – only a block and a half away – to see my first Here’s the Thing. Not only do I really dig the name of the show, I was curious to

There's Big News From 7-11

Screening and Cast Party: Office, The Musical, Rififi 7:00PM
Evie Aronson
Josh Filipowski
Jonesy

Slightly Known People, Rififi 8:00PM
Hosts: Rob and Mark
Pat O’Shea
Dan Allen
Rachel Parenta
Rusty Ward

I got a gig! A weekly gig! A hosting gig! Giggity gig goo! My main man Josh Filipowski, the large blond giant behind Like2laugh Productions, hooked a brotha up with the MC duties for the new weekly open mic at Otto’s Shrunken Head (14th between A and B). The open mic will run from 6:00-7:30 every WEDNESDAY and will be followed by Josh’s weekly show, Voodoo Luau

YAYYYYYY!

Alright so clearly this is awesome. I’m actually making some inroads into the scene, and I finally have a legitimate introduction, “Our next comic hosts the open mic at Otto’s every Wednesday, please put your hands together for DAN QUISENBERRY!” I’ve finally settled on a stage name.

But now I need to come up with a name for the show. “Wednesday Night Open Mic” doesn’t have ANY edge! Because Wednesday is colloquially known as ‘Hump Day,’ I thought I’d call it “I Can’t Believe it’s Not Funny!” Or because Wednesday in French is mercredi, I was thinking “Janet Jackson’s Breasts” would be an appropriate name. That’s got a nice breast to it. I could also just call it, “The Camel Toe and Penis Show.” Ohhh, I don’t know, they’re all so good!

I just hope I gain enough exposure from this hosting gig to the point when I’ll be referred to by other comics and known around town as “the kyke with the open mic.”


A big THANK YOU goes out to Josh for getting the ball rolling for me, and for driving me in and out of the city tonight. He picked me up on the way in for a cast party and screening of his short film, “Office, The Musical” at Rififi. Josh worked with Evie Aronson, Chris Clarke, Jonesy, Oscar Castillo, Maureen, and Robert?? to create the film during last year’s New York 48 hour Film Festival. Evie, Josh, and Jonesy each did a quick set before the 5 minute film was shown. Very impressive considering the time constraints and genre limitation (“musical” was picked out of a hat of many), and the acting/singing/choreography matched a slinky hip-hop soundtrack produced by DJ Nick.

After the screening, I stuck around Rififi for the 8 o’clock show, “Slightly Known People.” Hosted by Rob and Mark of “The Rob and Mark Show,” the show mixed sketch and stand-up for a thin crowd (competing with the last night of SketchFest NYC). Pat O’Shea would be worth mentioning if only for his retro chops that took him all the way back to the 1860s where he would have fit right into the Cincinnati Redstockings’ team picture, but the Boston area native opened the show with some darned good jokes.

My Martuna Needs More Tuna

Oh, Hello, Rififi (332 E 11th St), 8:00PM
Hosts: Nick Kroll and John Mulaney
A.D. Miles
Joe Mande
Mike O’Connell

Giant Tuesday Night of Amazing Rejection?

The Rejection Show Mo Pitkin’s (34 Avenue A), 7:30PM
Host: Jon Friedman
David Wain
Jon Friedman (MarketWatch)
Rachel Kramer Bussell
Eric Lewis and Glen….

Bogus Journey Into Night, Rififi (332 E 11th St), 10:00PM
Host: Michael Showalter
Leo Allen
Eugene Mirman
Michael Showalter and Zak Orth
Jeneane Garafolo

After Work Special

Drink At Work Presents..., Siberia (356 W 40th St), 8:00PM
Host: Carol Hartsell
DJ: Craig Baldo
Rob Paravonian
Frencesco Marciuliano
Bryan Olsen
Todd Levin*
Carol Hartsell
9/11 Man (Gabe McKinley)
Mike Birbiglia
Tom Shillue*
Brandy & Sarah
Sean Crespo with Gabe McKinley

* Unscheduled surprise set

Thanks to Maryanne for giving me the tip on this show. A buncha comics I had never seen before and Mike Birbiglia, at a cool venue just a Bruce Jenner javelin toss from Times Square? And it's FREE? And it doesn't cost anything? You bet I'll be there! And there's no cover?

There’s a great little website accessible by most computers that is run by a group of funny New Yorkers who like to drink at work. It’s called Drink at Work.com, and every so often they produce a comedy show featuring their favorite comedians and content contributors. I found the venue, Siberia, recognizable from the outside only by a red light above the door, and sheepishly walked downstairs to the bar/performance space almost a half hour past the posted start time of 8:00PM. But luckily for me, host Carol Harstell was just getting the show underway as I took my seet on a slumpy couch towards the back. Ironically first person I saw as soon as my eyes adjusted to the dark basement was Todd Levin, the person indirectly responsible for my tardy arrival (I had left the house late because I spent too much time carefully choosing my words in a reply to a MySpace message from Todd). It was the first time I had seen him since first bumping into him on the street, and it was a small thrill just to shake his hand again and be recognized by the man (it's not as if I'll ever go skydiving; I take my thrills as they come).

Rob Paravonian opened the show with funny songs. Francesco Marciuliano followed with a waggish lampooning of Pat Robertson, and I sound so British when I say that aloud in my head... with a British accent. Improv actor Bryan Olsen tried something next that was sooooo alternative that I nearly got up and left to go buy a Good Charlotte CD and get my left nipple pierced. He invited the audience to participate as the jury in the trial of a bigoted science teacher accused of telling his students that the Jews own a machine that controls the weather, while Mr. Olsen performed a monologue as the conservative Southern defense lawyer in his best William Jennings Bryan parody (with a touch of Senator Tankerbell).

Todd Levin made an unscheduled appearance on stage as a favor to the hosts who needed to stall while some comics were arriving late. He began by saying, "I've retired from doing stand-up, so I apologize if I'm a little rusty." Gosh I hope that's not true [Ed: It was confirmed by Todd Levin himself that this statement was, indeed, a joke]. Todd reprised his Premium Blend opener ("Tone it down, Moses") and then divulged his sexual neuroses, which culminated in his suggestions for increasing the positivity of porno films. His first recommendation - end every porno with a wedding. His second, and the funniest line of the night, "Just before the money shot, the girl should say to the guy, 'You can cum anywhere,' and then turn to the camera and add, 'just don't get any on my Nobel Prize.'"

Carol Hartsell presented her "Quick Moment with Carol" before being interrupted by 9/11 Man (Gabe McKinley) who doesn't take kindly alternative comedy's flippant 9/11 jokes. Wearing a sleeveless FDNY shirt and an eagle-embroidered baseball cap, 9/11 man stormed around the room in a double-edged satire of ultra-patriotism and hipster irreverance, or at least, I think that's what Gabe was going for. The irony of it all!

Mike Birbiglia repeated the story of his charity golf gig gone wrong, and impressed me once again with his knack for dry storytelling. His biggest laughs followed the tried and true moving day/rapist/"You'd be surprised!" joke, which he delivered perfectly. It was cool seeing Birbigs at this dive bar after seeing him at places like the Meyerhoff Symphony Hall in Baltimore and the Hudson Theatre in New York. I wanted to introduced myself after the show, but he left quickly after his set.

Tom Shillue was another guy not scheduled to appear on the show tonight, but came through with a hilarious guest set. The man can express so much with his eyes alone... and when Irish eyes are smiling, WATCH OUT! I have a t-shirt that says that.

Sean Crespo wrapped up the show with a fun set that included a slideshow called "Haunted or Molested?" and an appearance by NY Times Crossword editor Will Shortz, masterfully played by Gabe McKinley, who had Sean guess various words in their conversation. Example, "I'm just feeling so... nine-letter word, meaning 'lowered in spirits, dejected'..." Really creative, funny shtuff.

I used up my first $20 Metrocard of the summer on the way to the show tonight. To offset my comedy costs, I guess I'm going to have to cut down on ziti pizza.

Demetri Mirman

The Greg Johnson Show, Rififi (332 E 11th St), 8:00PM
Host: Greg Johnson
Leo Allen
Eugene Mirman
Demetri Martin

Oh, Grandma!

Oh, Hello, Rififi (332 E 11th St), 8:00PM
Hosts: John Mulaney and Nick Kroll
Chelsea Peretti
Mike Birbiglia
Nick Kroll

Grandma's Candy Box, Bar None (98 3rd Ave), 10:00PM
Host: Matt McCarthy
Luke Cunningham
Michelle Dobrawsky
Sven Wexler
Myka Fox
Helen Hong
Baron Vaughn